(no subject)

[haveyourmoments]

Every day I wake up in my palatial bed with a renewed sense of regret, wishing that there had been any other way to save Alderaan other than agreeing to marry Isolder, my now husband, the Prince of Hapan. There’s nothing wrong with him, exactly, he’s polite and proper and beautiful, of course, with his long blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. He’s kind, and patient with me and never fails to forgive my temper, but somehow that oboe makes it worse, makes me feel like an unruly child instead of his wife, his equal.

He tells me that he’s selected a new pilot for my flagship, that this stranger will be my bodyguard as well due to the ongoing threats in my life and I do my best not to sulk, knowing I’m capable of taking care of myself, but instead nodding and accepting his unassuming kiss on my cheek.

Comments

[going_solo]

“What is it?” I ask, tilting my head to the side. “Rethinking this whole ordeal?”

[haveyourmoments]

“No! No, not all,” I say. “I was thinking that…that I feel really comfortable with you.”

[going_solo]

“You do?” I ask, genuinely surprised. I’m not sure anyone has every said anything so… kind to me.

[haveyourmoments]

“You probably think I’m crazy,” I say, instantly regretting my confession.

[going_solo]

“I don’t think you’re crazy, Princess Leia,” I say, shaking my head. “But if I did… I’d say you’re in good company.”

[haveyourmoments]

“You can call me Leia, if you want,” I say, smiling gently at him.

[going_solo]

“Only if you call me Han,” I answer.

[haveyourmoments]

“I suppose I can do that,” I tell him playfully. “And what should I call your co-pilot?”

[going_solo]

“Chewie,” I say with a slight smile, my affection for the Wookiee evident.

[haveyourmoments]

“Chewie,” I repeat, smiling as well. “Quite the pair.”

[going_solo]

“We like to think so,” I say, oddly proud.

[haveyourmoments]

“It must be nice, having a partner to back you up all the time,” I muse.

[going_solo]

“Your husband doesn’t do that for you?” I ask, and then immediately regret it.

[haveyourmoments]

I pause, considering how honest I should be, knowing that I should show some loyalty to my husband, but the loneliness wins in the end. “No, our lives tend to be very…separate.”

[going_solo]

“Doesn’t sound like much of a marriage,” and again, I’m pretty sure I’m about to get fired.

[haveyourmoments]

“I don’t know…” I say, drifting off. “I mean, I did the right thing, for the Alliance, but…”

[going_solo]

“But what?” I ask, equal parts concerned and curious.

[haveyourmoments]

“But I always thought that I would either marry for love or not at all, like my parents,” I confess, then quickly realize what I’m saying and start to backtrack. “Not that I don’t…Isolder loves me, even before he’d actually met me…”

[going_solo]

“But it’s not the kind of love that you expected?” I hazard a guess.

[haveyourmoments]

“No, it’s not,” I say softly. “I’m not…I don’t mean to be the girl that whines about a fairytale prince, and I’m not ungrateful.”

[going_solo]

“You can be honest with me.” I offer.

[haveyourmoments]

“I wanted the kind of love my parents have,” I say softly.

[going_solo]

“What’s that like?” I ask. I’ve never been in love.

[haveyourmoments]

“It’s…it’s how they’re two halves of a whole, it’s enough for my mother to risk her own coronation in order to marry a politician. They’re each other’s best friends, you know?”

[going_solo]

“No, I don’t know,” I confess. I think it’s incredible, of course, but it’s not like I can’t relate.