haveyourmoments | (no subject)

Every day I wake up in my palatial bed with a renewed sense of regret, wishing that there had been any other way to save Alderaan other than agreeing to marry Isolder, my now husband, the Prince of Hapan. There’s nothing wrong with him, exactly, he’s polite and proper and beautiful, of course, with his long blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. He’s kind, and patient with me and never fails to forgive my temper, but somehow that oboe makes it worse, makes me feel like an unruly child instead of his wife, his equal.

He tells me that he’s selected a new pilot for my flagship, that this stranger will be my bodyguard as well due to the ongoing threats in my life and I do my best not to sulk, knowing I’m capable of taking care of myself, but instead nodding and accepting his unassuming kiss on my cheek.

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From:

haveyourmoments

“And you found me, Han,” I remind him, pulling back just enough to touch his temple. “It’s not your fault. It’s…his.”

From:

going_solo

“I’ll kill him,” I say, gritting my teeth.

From:

haveyourmoments

“I know,” I say softly, pressing my nose against his cheek and breathing in the familiarity, having no doubts that he would kill for me. “But for now, I just need you to hold me.”

From:

going_solo

I let my tension fade, and manage a soft smile. “I can do that for you,” I say, wrapping my arms around her.

From:

haveyourmoments

“Han?” I start softly, shaky, trying to find the courage to say what I want to say, but quickly losing my nerve. “I…nevermind.”

From:

going_solo

“What is it?” I ask, alarmed, worried I’ve done something wrong. “You can tell me anything.”

From:

haveyourmoments

“No, I…I wanted…” I can’t make myself say what I’d intended to say. How I’d wandered off to see if there were any Correlian flowers I could surprise him with, or that I had every intention of telling him that I was falling in love with him. Now, it just feels like everything is wrong, tainted, somehow. That he might think I’m only saying it because he rescued me, or that he won’t want to hear it at all.

From:

going_solo

“Please, Leia, I might be bad at this, new to this, but I know how to listen, and you of all people deserve to be heard,” I say, stroking her arms.

From:

haveyourmoments

“You’re not bad at this,” I say, hoping I can reassure him. “You are the best at this. Please, I need you to know that. You haven’t done one thing wrong.”

From:

going_solo

“But you won’t tell me what’s going on: and maybe I don’t have a right to know, maybe, maybe you don’t trust me, but I care.”

From:

haveyourmoments

“Han, it’s not like that,” I say, still a little bit shaky, still a little bit nervous, but knowing that I have to tell him so that he doesn’t imagine the worst. I reach up to stroke his hair, steadying myself before I speak.