haveyourmoments | (no subject)

Every day I wake up in my palatial bed with a renewed sense of regret, wishing that there had been any other way to save Alderaan other than agreeing to marry Isolder, my now husband, the Prince of Hapan. There’s nothing wrong with him, exactly, he’s polite and proper and beautiful, of course, with his long blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. He’s kind, and patient with me and never fails to forgive my temper, but somehow that oboe makes it worse, makes me feel like an unruly child instead of his wife, his equal.

He tells me that he’s selected a new pilot for my flagship, that this stranger will be my bodyguard as well due to the ongoing threats in my life and I do my best not to sulk, knowing I’m capable of taking care of myself, but instead nodding and accepting his unassuming kiss on my cheek.

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From:

going_solo

“More than Chewie, even? Because that’s a lot,” I grin.

From:

haveyourmoments

“Just the tiniest bit more,” I say, punctuating my words with kisses. “Maybe. A little.”

From:

going_solo

“You’re showing me how much, huh?” I smile, kissing her sweetly.

From:

haveyourmoments

“Mmhmm,” I murmur, pushing his hair back. “I love you…”

From:

haveyourmoments

I feel a familiar sensation one morning, a slight tingling, almost, a total awareness of another living being, like a little light turning on, but even though everything should feel magical, and good, I start to panic so badly I hyperventilate. I can’t do this, not again!

From:

going_solo

I'm tending to the ship when all of this goes down, so it's a good few minutes before I'm back in our quarters and I immediately know something is off. "Leia?"

From:

haveyourmoments

“Han, please, just…not right now,” I beg, curling up tightly, terrified to even move too much.

From:

going_solo

“Leia, baby, what is it?” I ask, sitting on the side of the bed but not touching.

From:

haveyourmoments

I flinch a little at the use of the word baby, but I don’t mention it. All I can think of is how stupid I’ve been, not using any protection, and how I’m technically still married to a prince that would rather kill me than give me a divorce.

From:

going_solo

She flinches, and it makes me flinch. I take a step back to give her space. “Whatever I did, I can fix it.”

From:

haveyourmoments

I laugh a little bit through my tears, because it is something he ‘did,’ but nothing he can ‘fix.’ “You didn’t do anything wrong, Han.”

From:

going_solo

“Then who did? I’ll kick them in the teeth,” I say, very serious about the threat.

From:

haveyourmoments

I laugh again despite everything, because he’s adorably protective and immediately, fiercely always in my side. “Nothing bad happened, not really.”

From:

going_solo

“Then… I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but maybe I can help you if you do?” I suggest.

From:

haveyourmoments

“Han,” I sigh softly, not even sure how to begin this conversation. Not at all sure what his reaction would be under the best circumstances. “I don’t know what to say.”

From:

going_solo

“Oh no,” I say, my stomach sunken. She’s breaking up with me. I knew it was too good to be true.

From:

haveyourmoments

“Oh no, what?” I ask, confused as to what he’s thinking, reaching for his hand.

From:

going_solo

“Well, I mean, I thought…” I shake my head, hating the hitch in my breath. “I thought what we had was really something.”

From:

haveyourmoments

“Han,” I say again, forcefully, shaking his hand a little to get his attention. “Do you think I’m breaking up with you?”

From:

going_solo

“I don’t think anyone would blame you…” I say, trailing off and unable to look her in the eyes.

From:

haveyourmoments

I let go of his hand to gently lift his chin, waiting patiently until he looks me in the eyes. “I need you to hear me when I say this: I am never leaving you. Not ever.”