haveyourmoments | (no subject)

Every day I wake up in my palatial bed with a renewed sense of regret, wishing that there had been any other way to save Alderaan other than agreeing to marry Isolder, my now husband, the Prince of Hapan. There’s nothing wrong with him, exactly, he’s polite and proper and beautiful, of course, with his long blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. He’s kind, and patient with me and never fails to forgive my temper, but somehow that oboe makes it worse, makes me feel like an unruly child instead of his wife, his equal.

He tells me that he’s selected a new pilot for my flagship, that this stranger will be my bodyguard as well due to the ongoing threats in my life and I do my best not to sulk, knowing I’m capable of taking care of myself, but instead nodding and accepting his unassuming kiss on my cheek.

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From:

going_solo

I hold her as best I can until I have to blast some guards on the way out of the ship.

From:

haveyourmoments

I clutch at the fabric I have wrapped around me, feeling humiliated and hurt and starting to question if I’m even worth the trouble Han is dealing with right now.

From:

going_solo

“We’re almost there, Leia, stay with me.”

From:

haveyourmoments

“I’m so tired,” I protest weakly, wanting nothing more than to simply give up and lay down.

From:

going_solo

“Do you want…” I hesitate, then hand Chewie the blaster so I can scoop Leia up.

From:

haveyourmoments

I cry out softly in surprise, my arms flying around his neck, my heart pounding.

From:

going_solo

We run, then, as fast as our feet will carry us.

From:

haveyourmoments

I bury my face in his neck as he carries me to the Falcon, setting me down as carefully as possible in his cabin before he runs to the cockpit to take off. I manage to dig out one of his shirts and a pair of my underwear, slipping them on before I climb under the covers, waiting.

From:

going_solo

We manage to enter hyperspace and evade Leia’s captors, as soon as we feel like we’re out of the thick of it I go to find her.

From:

haveyourmoments

I sit up a little when he walks in, reaching my hand out for him, blushing softly when the length of his sleeve covers my hand.

From:

going_solo

I embrace her immediately, holding her close. “I’m so sorry.”

From:

haveyourmoments

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I murmur softly, running my fingers through his hair.

From:

going_solo

“I lost track of you,” I say. “I never should have taken my eyes off of you.”

From:

haveyourmoments

“It’s not your fault, Han,” I say, hating that he’s shouldering any guilt. “I wandered off to a flower cart, something smelled like Alderaan…we should have been safe there. You didn’t know.”

From:

going_solo

“I can’t accept that,” I say softly; overwhelmed. “I could have lost you. I did - I did lose you, for a time.”

From:

haveyourmoments

“And you found me, Han,” I remind him, pulling back just enough to touch his temple. “It’s not your fault. It’s…his.”

From:

going_solo

“I’ll kill him,” I say, gritting my teeth.

From:

haveyourmoments

“I know,” I say softly, pressing my nose against his cheek and breathing in the familiarity, having no doubts that he would kill for me. “But for now, I just need you to hold me.”

From:

going_solo

I let my tension fade, and manage a soft smile. “I can do that for you,” I say, wrapping my arms around her.

From:

haveyourmoments

“Han?” I start softly, shaky, trying to find the courage to say what I want to say, but quickly losing my nerve. “I…nevermind.”

From:

going_solo

“What is it?” I ask, alarmed, worried I’ve done something wrong. “You can tell me anything.”

From:

haveyourmoments

“No, I…I wanted…” I can’t make myself say what I’d intended to say. How I’d wandered off to see if there were any Correlian flowers I could surprise him with, or that I had every intention of telling him that I was falling in love with him. Now, it just feels like everything is wrong, tainted, somehow. That he might think I’m only saying it because he rescued me, or that he won’t want to hear it at all.

From:

going_solo

“Please, Leia, I might be bad at this, new to this, but I know how to listen, and you of all people deserve to be heard,” I say, stroking her arms.

From:

haveyourmoments

“You’re not bad at this,” I say, hoping I can reassure him. “You are the best at this. Please, I need you to know that. You haven’t done one thing wrong.”