(no subject)

[haveyourmoments]

Every day I wake up in my palatial bed with a renewed sense of regret, wishing that there had been any other way to save Alderaan other than agreeing to marry Isolder, my now husband, the Prince of Hapan. There’s nothing wrong with him, exactly, he’s polite and proper and beautiful, of course, with his long blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. He’s kind, and patient with me and never fails to forgive my temper, but somehow that oboe makes it worse, makes me feel like an unruly child instead of his wife, his equal.

He tells me that he’s selected a new pilot for my flagship, that this stranger will be my bodyguard as well due to the ongoing threats in my life and I do my best not to sulk, knowing I’m capable of taking care of myself, but instead nodding and accepting his unassuming kiss on my cheek.

Comments

[haveyourmoments]

“You’re not bad at this,” I say, hoping I can reassure him. “You are the best at this. Please, I need you to know that. You haven’t done one thing wrong.”

[going_solo]

“But you won’t tell me what’s going on: and maybe I don’t have a right to know, maybe, maybe you don’t trust me, but I care.”

[haveyourmoments]

“Han, it’s not like that,” I say, still a little bit shaky, still a little bit nervous, but knowing that I have to tell him so that he doesn’t imagine the worst. I reach up to stroke his hair, steadying myself before I speak.

[going_solo]

I lean into her touch, not wanting to push her but wanting her to trust me more than anything.

[haveyourmoments]

“I think…I think I’m falling in love with you,” I confess quietly, looking away after a moment, blushing.

[going_solo]

A lump forms in my throat, because I’ve never been in love and surely no one’s ever been in love with me. But… “I feel the same way.”

[haveyourmoments]

“You do?” I ask hopefully, looking back up into his eyes. It seems too good to be true, that he could love me after everything.

[going_solo]

“I do,” I say; squeezing her fingers. “I’ve never felt like this with… anyone before, but I know that I’m feeling it right now.”

[haveyourmoments]

I give him a watery smile, my eyes filled with tears as I press my forehead against his, my arms winding around his neck.

[going_solo]

“I love you, Leia,” I say, rubbing her back in circles.

[haveyourmoments]

“I love you too, Han,” I say, curling into him when I start shivering.

[going_solo]

I reach for a blanket and wrap it around her, holding her close.

[haveyourmoments]

I press a soft kiss to his throat, curling against him, exhausted but too afraid to sleep.

[going_solo]

I sense her hesitance to rest, and kiss the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere."

[haveyourmoments]

“I’m just … afraid if I close my eyes, I’ll see him and not you.”

[going_solo]

"But I'll be here when you open them again," I remind her.

[haveyourmoments]

“Okay,” I say softly, reaching up to cup his cheek. “Will you kiss me?”

[going_solo]

"Every day, forever," I say, leaning in to kiss her tenderly.

[haveyourmoments]

“Forever?” I ask, smiling against his lips. “I like the sound of that.”

[going_solo]

"If you'll have me," I smile back.

[haveyourmoments]

“Of course,” I say, moving to rest my head on his shoulder. “Forever.”

[going_solo]

I hug her as tightly as I dare, kissing the parting of her hair once more.

[haveyourmoments]

I let myself fall asleep in his arms, feeling such gratitude for his good heart.

[going_solo]

It's hot, it's cold, I'm clammy, and I can't sleep with the pain radiating down my arm as I take my break from steering the ship.

[haveyourmoments]

I come back from the mess area carrying Han’s favorite tea, hoping that it might make him feel better. I set it down next to his bunk, kneeling next to him, resting my palm on his forehead.