haveyourmoments | (no subject)

“I’ll let you get back to work,” I say, feeling my cheeks flush.

“Make yourself comfortable,” I say, before heading into the cockpit.

I wake up in the middle of the night, feeling an intense pain I’ve never experienced before. I curl up into a tight ball, trying to soothe myself, but eventually I cry out in pain.

I’m half asleep, Chewie at the helm, when I hear the noise and immediately get to my feet, heading for Leia’s bunk.

I moan softly, trying to resist the urge to call out for Han, at least, that’s what I do at first. Then, I see the blood.

I knock on her door urgently, asking what’s going on, if she’s sick or hurt.

“I think…something is wrong,” I manage, feeling so many emotions that I can barely get any words out.

I burst in, then, and the moment I see the blood and the amount of it I have an inkling what’s happening. “Oh, Leia,” I say. “We need to get you evacuated.”

“No!” I say, instantly starting to panic at the idea of being left alone in a clinic on some strange planet. “I…I just need something to clean up with…”

“You could bleed out!” I say, not wanting to worry her but unable to stop myself.

“It’s not…it won’t. This isn’t the first time,” I say, starting to cry.

“Isn’t the first time what, Leia?” I ask with a sense of urgency.

“This isn’t the time I’ve lost one!” I say, ashamed and hating that he must now see me as a failure just like everyone else does.

“This has happened before?” I ask, eyes going wide with shock, first, and then soft with sympathy.

I nod tearfully, upset with myself, curling tighter into a ball. “I didn’t know.”

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” I say, approaching her and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Isn’t it?” I ask, giving him a look of surprise at his approach. Usually everyone just disappears, leaving me alone in a dark room like I’m contagious.

“No, I mean - I don’t think so,” I say. “I think it’s one of those things that just happens.”

“You really think so?” I ask softly, looking up at him with watery eyes.

I nod. “Yeah, I mean, it’s really sad when it does happen, but it’s… it’s not your fault, Leia.”

“Thank you,” I say softly, before I shift to rest my head on his shoulder, needing to be comforted.

Hesitantly, i wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her close.

I curl against him carefully, my body and heart aching, letting him hold me as I close my eyes, exhausted.

“Do you need something for the pain?” I ask softly.

“Nothing helps,” I tell him, my eyes staying shut. I know that this isn’t his responsibility, that this isn’t part of the terms of his employment, but I don’t move, soothed by his touch.