haveyourmoments | (no subject)

“You’re not a slave,” I say quickly, because I didn’t mean to imply that. “You’re just stuck.”

“It feels like I am, when my choices aren’t my own and I can’t say no,” I say without thinking and then blush furiously, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I should t be so insensitive. I know my life is far better than Chewie’s was.”

“Your life is different, not better,” I say, squeezing her fingers and hoping I can be an anchor to her. “It’s not a competition.”

“It’s my own fault, I was so stupid,” I say, starting to cry again as I squeeze his hand hard. “I just, I thought he would love me eventually.”

“You’re very loveable, Leia,” I try to assure her. “The rest is on him.”

“I’m supposed to be taking care of you and instead you’re taking care of me all over again,” I sniff.

“To the ends of the galaxy,” I say, and I know how cheesy it is but I want her to know it’s true. “Sick or not, I will take care of you.”

I blush again, not at all used to such outward declarations of devotion, and rub my nose nervously. “You really think I’m lovable?”

“Mostly,” I say, choosing to tease her then before leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Always.”

“Nerfherder,” I murmur, teasing back softly. Still, my blush deepens at his affection, and even more so at his words. “You’ve never kissed me before.”

“I haven’t? I can’t imagine why…”

“I just assumed you didn’t want to,” I confess softly. “But you don’t have to, if you just feel sorry for me.”

“I was respecting your marriage,” I tell her, and then I kiss her cheek again. “And I’m also scared of making you sick.”

I sigh in frustration, because his points are entirely valid, but all I want is to be thoroughly kissed by someone who might actually love me.

She’s frustrated, I can tell, and so I say fuck it and kiss her tenderly anyway.

I make a soft noise of surprise when he finally kisses me, and after a split second of confusion my hand immediately finds its way into his hair, not wanting him to misinterpret my response. I do tear up, though, I can’t help it, because I’ve never been kissed this way, not even close.

I cover her with kisses, leaning into her touch, suddenly not feeling the least bit sick.

His sweet, searching kisses fill me with a happiness I’ve never known. I giggle softly when he kisses a ticklish spot just behind my ear, getting butterflies in my stomach as I shift onto my back and pull him on top of me, trying to give him even better access.

I slide my hand under shirt and caress her breast as I keep kissing her, in awe that this is happening.

I shiver as he touches me, not used to such tenderness, and I stroke his back softly in return. “You really want this - me?”

“More than anything,” I answer. “But only if you want me in return.”

“I do want you, of course I do,” I tell him earnestly, honestly, cupping his face and looking into his eyes, seeing the person who has somehow become my best friend.

“But I don’t want them to hurt you,” I say, and I can’t help it, tears spring into my eyes.

“You’ll take care of me,” I say, confident in that fact, but then I falter, wondering if that’s asking too much. “Or, maybe I can…maybe I can handle going back, now that I know that I’m not so unlovable.”

“But then who will I have?” I ask, and the tears break free.