(no subject)

[haveyourmoments]

I’m on my way to Jabba’s palace on Tatooine, dressed in a godforsaken dead bounty hunter’s suit, complete with a stifling mask that makes me feel like I might actually faint. Or maybe that’s just the smell of old alcohol that came with the suit. At any rate, I’m petrified, not at all convinced that Han has survived the carbon freezing, especially not after all this time.

I walk inside the palace, my fingertips grazing over the thermal detenator in my pocket, holding Chewie’s leash with my other hand, and thinking that at least if Han is dead, I can wind up with him in the end.

Comments

[haveyourmoments]

“I can’t reach, and I don’t want to ask Chewie to have to do it…”

[going_solo]

“I… I can try,” I offer, even though I’m basically useless in my state.

[haveyourmoments]

“Thank you,” I say, my voice thick with unshed tears. I slip the robe off, turning my back to him and hoping to the gods he can get this off of me.

[going_solo]

I gently feel for the first piece of metal, managing to miraculously undo it without the benefit of sight.

[haveyourmoments]

It’s a relief the second it slides off my sunburned body, and but I still shiver in the cold of space , waiting expectantly.

[going_solo]

I cover her with a blanket as best I can and work on freeing her of the rest of the locks. “Are you - is this okay?”

[haveyourmoments]

“Mmhmm,” I say softly, my eyes closed as I swallow hard, trying to force myself to relax.

[going_solo]

“I can stop whenever you need me to,” I say.

[haveyourmoments]

“I trust you,” I tell him, letting him continue.

[going_solo]

I’m not sure it’s an earned trust but I persist in the removal of locks and chains until she’s free again.

[haveyourmoments]

“Thank you,” I say softly, standing up and tugging on one of Han’s soft old shirts. “That feels so much better.”

[going_solo]

“It’s the least I can do,” I tell her, sitting back and marvelling at the idea of the feat, because I can’t see it.

[haveyourmoments]

“What’re you thinking?” I ask, curious, and wondering what he thinks of me now.

[going_solo]

“That… it really sucks to be blind right now,” I say, flushing red.

[haveyourmoments]

I raise my eyebrow, laughing softly. “Oh? Is there something specific you’d like to be witnessing right now?”

[going_solo]

“I mean, yes,” I say, with a breath of a laugh. “But your eyes more than anything.”

[haveyourmoments]

I roll my eyes, crossing my legs as I sit across from him on the bed. “You’re a mess,” I say fondly.

[going_solo]

“I am a lot of things right now,” I laugh nervously.

[haveyourmoments]

“Like what?” I ask curiously, leaning into him.

[going_solo]

“Well, blind, for one,” he says. “But also relieved, because you’re here.”

[haveyourmoments]

“Are you…I mean, I guess you didn’t really miss me, hmm?” I ask, mostly thinking out loud. “But I missed you.”

[going_solo]

“I missed you in my bones,” I say softly. “I can feel it… the absence.”

[haveyourmoments]

“You can?” I ask, intrigued. “I was worried that, oh I don’t know, I guess I just thought this might be one-sided.”

[going_solo]

“I can’t explain it,” I say. “I just… know that I feel it.”

[haveyourmoments]

I nod, chewing at my bottom lip for a moment before I speak again. “I guess what I’m asking is…am I over exaggerating our relationship in my head?”