(no subject)

[haveyourmoments]

I’m on my way to Jabba’s palace on Tatooine, dressed in a godforsaken dead bounty hunter’s suit, complete with a stifling mask that makes me feel like I might actually faint. Or maybe that’s just the smell of old alcohol that came with the suit. At any rate, I’m petrified, not at all convinced that Han has survived the carbon freezing, especially not after all this time.

I walk inside the palace, my fingertips grazing over the thermal detenator in my pocket, holding Chewie’s leash with my other hand, and thinking that at least if Han is dead, I can wind up with him in the end.

Comments

[going_solo]

“I love you more than anything,” I say. “More than anyone.”

[haveyourmoments]

“You do?” I ask, not really surprised, exactly, but he’s also never said those words to me.

[going_solo]

“I would have thought it was obvious,” I say, locking on her gaze.

[haveyourmoments]

“I had an idea, but…” I shrug. “It’s still nice to hear it.”

[going_solo]

“Then I’ll tell you every morning and night for forever,” I say, kissing her sweetly.

[haveyourmoments]

I throw my arms around his neck and return the kiss, tearing up a little. “I like the sound of that.”

[going_solo]

“Good, because you deserve it, my princess.”

[haveyourmoments]

“I am only yours,” I murmur softly, nuzzling his neck. “Always.”

[going_solo]

“My greatest honour,” I say, kissing her, and before long we’re falling asleep and within hours I’m waking up in a sweaty start, recoiling from the bed.

[haveyourmoments]

I’m sleeping better than I ever have until Han practically leaps out of bed, and I’m almost launched off the mattress myself. “Han?” I ask, my voice thick and scratchy with sleep as I tug a sheet up to cover myself, “Are you okay?”

[going_solo]

I take a long few moments to respond, then cover myself with an edge of the blanket.

[haveyourmoments]

He’s pale, and shaking, and looks as if he’s about to be sick. I can tell that he’s feeling vulnerable and I stand up, finding his boxers on the floor and handing them to him without a word.

[going_solo]

I’m shaking, I realise, and none of it is her fault but I still step into the corner to change back into my clothes.

[haveyourmoments]

I tug on a shirt and some panties before I crawl back under the covers and look over at him. “Do you want to come here?” I ask softly, making sure to give him the choice.

[going_solo]

After just a moment, I head on over with an apologetic expression on my face.

[haveyourmoments]

“Don’t you dare apologize,” I say, but it’s with a gentle hint of a smile for his sake. I gesture for him to sit next to me, if he wants, but I’m patient. “You haven’t done a damn thing wrong.”

[going_solo]

“I don’t know how to explain,” I tell her, carefully sitting beside her.

[haveyourmoments]

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” I tell him swiftly. “I won’t force you to talk.”

[going_solo]

“That means a lot,” I say. “I don’t… before you I didn’t talk to anyone, about much of anything.”

[haveyourmoments]

“Oh come on now, I’m sure you and Chewie had long heart to hearts at night, braiding each other’s hair….”

[going_solo]

I laugh softly at that, shaking my head. “We’re not much with the words.”

[haveyourmoments]

“Well, I’m happy to talk to you at any point,” I say, stroking his hair.

[going_solo]

“You’ll think less of me, Leia,” I say softly.

[haveyourmoments]

“That’s not possible,” I say firmly, taking his hand. “I love you, Han. Nothing from your past will change the you that I love now.”

[going_solo]

I go quiet for a long time, and then shake my head. “You will think less of me.”