(no subject)

[haveyourmoments]

I’m on my way to Jabba’s palace on Tatooine, dressed in a godforsaken dead bounty hunter’s suit, complete with a stifling mask that makes me feel like I might actually faint. Or maybe that’s just the smell of old alcohol that came with the suit. At any rate, I’m petrified, not at all convinced that Han has survived the carbon freezing, especially not after all this time.

I walk inside the palace, my fingertips grazing over the thermal detenator in my pocket, holding Chewie’s leash with my other hand, and thinking that at least if Han is dead, I can wind up with him in the end.

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[haveyourmoments]

I’m too tired to argue, falling back asleep until the doctor arrives, , and even then I’m not entirely aware of what’s going on.

[going_solo]

The doctor diagnosis her with fluid on her lungs and demands that she be hospitalised immediately, a team of nurses coming in like clockwork.

[haveyourmoments]

I’m essentially unconscious for who knows how long, waking up thoroughly confused when I’m confronted by the bright lights in the hospital, and I groan, my mouth dry.

[going_solo]

I’m a wreck, walking backwards and forward in her room all day every day while I await her awakening.

[haveyourmoments]

“Please turn out the lights…” I groan, flinging my arm over my eyes.

[going_solo]

I turn out the lights before I realise from where the voice has come. “Leia?!”

[haveyourmoments]

“Sshhh,” I groan, still miserably ill and not processing his distress.

[going_solo]

“You’re right,” I whisper, approaching the bed and sitting beside her. “I just can’t believe you’re… awake.”

[haveyourmoments]

“Mmm,” I mumble, not quite understanding. “Am I not supposed to be?”

[going_solo]

“You had some kind of chest infection,” I tell her softly. “You almost…”

[haveyourmoments]

“Almost what?” I ask tiredly, reaching blindly for his hand, frowning at the wires attached to my arm but undeterred, hearing the stress in his voice.

[going_solo]

“Almost died, Leia,” I say, the thought making me sick. “And you’re still very unwell.”

[haveyourmoments]

“I’m sure I’m going to be fine,” I say with a tired sigh, frustrated that I still can’t manage to find his hand.

[going_solo]

“Why aren’t you taking me seriously?” I ask, withdrawing my hand and setting it at my side, tears springing into my eyes. “I almost lost you!”

[haveyourmoments]

“Why are you mad at me?” I ask, curling my hand back against my chest and feeling like a scolded child.

[going_solo]

“Because you nearly died and you’re not listening!” I say, and then I really start to cry. “I’m sorry, I just, it’s been a whole week…”

[haveyourmoments]

“Hey, I’m listening…” I murmur, forcing myself as awake as I possibly can. “Come here?”

[going_solo]

I come close and reach for her hand, apologising.

[haveyourmoments]

“It’s okay,” I promise him, taking his hand and lifting it to my lips. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

[going_solo]

“I’m not mad,” I say. “I just – I need you to understand everything that happened, when you’re ready.”

[haveyourmoments]

“You can talk to me anytime, Han,” I say. “I dont want you to have to go through anything alone.”

[going_solo]

“I don’t want to overwhelm you with everything that… that I did go through alone,” I say.

[haveyourmoments]

“Han, we’re a couple, we do all of this together,” I say, lifting a shaky hand to stroke his hair. “You know I’m tough.”

[going_solo]

“The toughest in the galaxy,” I tell her, leaning into her touch.

[haveyourmoments]

“I love you so, so much, sweetheart,” I tell him, smiling softly.