haveyourmoments | (no subject)

“I can’t reach, and I don’t want to ask Chewie to have to do it…”

“I… I can try,” I offer, even though I’m basically useless in my state.

“Thank you,” I say, my voice thick with unshed tears. I slip the robe off, turning my back to him and hoping to the gods he can get this off of me.

I gently feel for the first piece of metal, managing to miraculously undo it without the benefit of sight.

It’s a relief the second it slides off my sunburned body, and but I still shiver in the cold of space , waiting expectantly.

I cover her with a blanket as best I can and work on freeing her of the rest of the locks. “Are you - is this okay?”

“Mmhmm,” I say softly, my eyes closed as I swallow hard, trying to force myself to relax.

“I can stop whenever you need me to,” I say.

“I trust you,” I tell him, letting him continue.

I’m not sure it’s an earned trust but I persist in the removal of locks and chains until she’s free again.

“Thank you,” I say softly, standing up and tugging on one of Han’s soft old shirts. “That feels so much better.”

“It’s the least I can do,” I tell her, sitting back and marvelling at the idea of the feat, because I can’t see it.

“What’re you thinking?” I ask, curious, and wondering what he thinks of me now.

“That… it really sucks to be blind right now,” I say, flushing red.

I raise my eyebrow, laughing softly. “Oh? Is there something specific you’d like to be witnessing right now?”

“I mean, yes,” I say, with a breath of a laugh. “But your eyes more than anything.”

I roll my eyes, crossing my legs as I sit across from him on the bed. “You’re a mess,” I say fondly.

“I am a lot of things right now,” I laugh nervously.

“Like what?” I ask curiously, leaning into him.

“Well, blind, for one,” he says. “But also relieved, because you’re here.”

“Are you…I mean, I guess you didn’t really miss me, hmm?” I ask, mostly thinking out loud. “But I missed you.”

“I missed you in my bones,” I say softly. “I can feel it… the absence.”

“You can?” I ask, intrigued. “I was worried that, oh I don’t know, I guess I just thought this might be one-sided.”

“I can’t explain it,” I say. “I just… know that I feel it.”

I nod, chewing at my bottom lip for a moment before I speak again. “I guess what I’m asking is…am I over exaggerating our relationship in my head?”