haveyourmoments | (no subject)

(no subject)

Every day I wake up in my palatial bed with a renewed sense of regret, wishing that there had been any other way to save Alderaan other than agreeing to marry Isolder, my now husband, the Prince of Hapan. There’s nothing wrong with him, exactly, he’s polite and proper and beautiful, of course, with his long blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. He’s kind, and patient with me and never fails to forgive my temper, but somehow that oboe makes it worse, makes me feel like an unruly child instead of his wife, his equal.

He tells me that he’s selected a new pilot for my flagship, that this stranger will be my bodyguard as well due to the ongoing threats in my life and I do my best not to sulk, knowing I’m capable of taking care of myself, but instead nodding and accepting his unassuming kiss on my cheek.

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“You’re ridiculous,” I laugh softly, though my blush only intensifies.

“Ridiculously in love?” I offer, raising my brow.

“Oh my god,” I groan, rolling my eyes but wrapping my arms around his waist tightly. “You’ve already got me, you know.”

“I sure do. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna treat you like trash;” I say.

“I…you’re right,” I say, realizing that he’s just simply being a nice man. I stretch up on my toes and kiss him softly.

I smile into the kiss, stroking her hair.

“Want to take me to bed?” I ask, batting my eyelashes at him.

"My favorite place with my favorite person?" I ask, scooping her up. "Absolutely."

I squeal, throwing my arms around his neck and holding on tightly. “Han!”

"At your service, princess," I say, nuzzling her before taking her and setting her down on the bed.

I smile up at him, pulling him to lay down with me, reaching to stroke his cheek.

"I'm so sorry for how I've been," I say softly, leaning into her.

“We’re okay,” I promise him, smiling fondly. “We’ll always be okay.”

“I don’t want to be okay,” I say, shaking my head. “I want us to be… extraordinary.”

“We are,” I say, pressing my nose against his cheek. “I love you more than anything, Han.”

“More than Chewie, even? Because that’s a lot,” I grin.

“Just the tiniest bit more,” I say, punctuating my words with kisses. “Maybe. A little.”

“You’re showing me how much, huh?” I smile, kissing her sweetly.

“Mmhmm,” I murmur, pushing his hair back. “I love you…”

I feel a familiar sensation one morning, a slight tingling, almost, a total awareness of another living being, like a little light turning on, but even though everything should feel magical, and good, I start to panic so badly I hyperventilate. I can’t do this, not again!

I'm tending to the ship when all of this goes down, so it's a good few minutes before I'm back in our quarters and I immediately know something is off. "Leia?"

“Han, please, just…not right now,” I beg, curling up tightly, terrified to even move too much.

“Leia, baby, what is it?” I ask, sitting on the side of the bed but not touching.

I flinch a little at the use of the word baby, but I don’t mention it. All I can think of is how stupid I’ve been, not using any protection, and how I’m technically still married to a prince that would rather kill me than give me a divorce.

She flinches, and it makes me flinch. I take a step back to give her space. “Whatever I did, I can fix it.”