haveyourmoments | (no subject)

“You want to take me for a ride?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at him.

I flush the color of a species I’ve never yet met, but then decide to go along with it. “Only if you’re interested, Princess.”

I cant help but laugh at the way he blushes, reaching to rest my hand on his arm and hoping he doesn’t think me unkind. “I’m sure you take all kind of girls for a ride.”

“That’s a hell of an assumption to make,” I say, looking at her through the corner of my eye. “…not wholly untrue, but still!”

“Mmm,” I murmur, not sure if I’m happy that I was right, or disappointed. “I’m sure you'll be back up to no good in no time.”

“You sure do think you’ve figured me out, don’t you?”

I look over at him, my eyes going wide with surprise, because he sounds almost…offended? I shake my head, hugging myself, always so cold in space. “No, I…I don’t know much about you at all.”

“Better for your sake that we keep it that way,” I say, getting to my feet. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for myself and Chewbacca, Princess.”

For just a split second I allow myself to feel the confusion and pain of his rejection before I put my walls back up , giving him a curt nod. “I’ll make sure to arrange a ship to take you both wherever you want to go.”

I want to say there’s nowhere to go, but instead I nod and turn away.

“The Rebellion is always looking for good pilots,” I call after him stupidly, not sure why I can’t just let him leave.

"I'm surprised you think I'm worthy of The Rebellion," I say without looking back, but also not moving forward.

“What?” I ask, entirely unsure what I’ve done to provoke this reaction.

“I just teach girls to fly, right? And get rescued out of prisons?”

“I don’t … I didn’t mean any harm,” I say.

I soften, just barely. “I don’t use women.”

“I don’t think that at all! I just meant…I meant that you’re very handsome, so I’m sure you don’t have any problems, you know, with attracting women.”

"I think you'e very beautiful, but I don't, but I wouldn't assume..." I shake my head. "Forget it."

“Okay,” I say softly, recognizing that he wants to be done with this conversation, and probably with me as well.

“You’re the last person I’d want to think I’m… like that,” I say.

“I don’t think badly of you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” I tell him. “Your dedication to your friend is evidence enough for me.”

I go quiet then.

“Oh,” I say, finally. “Okay.”

“So…the offer is always open, if you want,” I say, giving him a little smile.

“I’ll have to think about it,” I say, even though what I really want to answer is yes.

“Of course,” I say. I know he won’t choose to stay, and I have to make my peace with that.