haveyourmoments | (no subject)

(no subject)

Every day I wake up in my palatial bed with a renewed sense of regret, wishing that there had been any other way to save Alderaan other than agreeing to marry Isolder, my now husband, the Prince of Hapan. There’s nothing wrong with him, exactly, he’s polite and proper and beautiful, of course, with his long blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. He’s kind, and patient with me and never fails to forgive my temper, but somehow that oboe makes it worse, makes me feel like an unruly child instead of his wife, his equal.

He tells me that he’s selected a new pilot for my flagship, that this stranger will be my bodyguard as well due to the ongoing threats in my life and I do my best not to sulk, knowing I’m capable of taking care of myself, but instead nodding and accepting his unassuming kiss on my cheek.

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“Leia, baby, what is it?” I ask, sitting on the side of the bed but not touching.

I flinch a little at the use of the word baby, but I don’t mention it. All I can think of is how stupid I’ve been, not using any protection, and how I’m technically still married to a prince that would rather kill me than give me a divorce.

She flinches, and it makes me flinch. I take a step back to give her space. “Whatever I did, I can fix it.”

I laugh a little bit through my tears, because it is something he ‘did,’ but nothing he can ‘fix.’ “You didn’t do anything wrong, Han.”

“Then who did? I’ll kick them in the teeth,” I say, very serious about the threat.

I laugh again despite everything, because he’s adorably protective and immediately, fiercely always in my side. “Nothing bad happened, not really.”

“Then… I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but maybe I can help you if you do?” I suggest.

“Han,” I sigh softly, not even sure how to begin this conversation. Not at all sure what his reaction would be under the best circumstances. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh no,” I say, my stomach sunken. She’s breaking up with me. I knew it was too good to be true.

“Oh no, what?” I ask, confused as to what he’s thinking, reaching for his hand.

“Well, I mean, I thought…” I shake my head, hating the hitch in my breath. “I thought what we had was really something.”

“Han,” I say again, forcefully, shaking his hand a little to get his attention. “Do you think I’m breaking up with you?”

“I don’t think anyone would blame you…” I say, trailing off and unable to look her in the eyes.

I let go of his hand to gently lift his chin, waiting patiently until he looks me in the eyes. “I need you to hear me when I say this: I am never leaving you. Not ever.”

I swallow. “Yeah?” I ask, needing to hear it again, for it to really sink in.

“Yeah,” I say, mimicking his soft Correllian accent with a gentle smile. “You’re stuck with me, hot shot.”

“I consider that an honour,” I say, leaning in to kiss her. “Princess.”

I blush, always loving his pet names for me, and I lean in to kiss his forehead. “I promise it’s nothing like that.”

"Then please, Leia, tell me what it is. You can tell me anything," I try to assure her.

“I’m pregnant!” I blurt out, covering my face, unable to hold it in any longer.

“Pregnant?” I ask, eyes going wide as I look from her eyes to her stomach and back. “And you think that’s a bad thing?”

“Of course it is!” I say, starting to panic again.

“But, Leia, maybe… maybe this is one that makes it,” I try to console her.

“What if it isn’t?” I ask him, my voice shaking, my eyes huge. “I can’t…I can’t bear losing your baby.”

“We will get through whatever does or doesn’t happen together,” I tell her, stroking her cheek.