haveyourmoments | (no subject)

(no subject)

Every day I wake up in my palatial bed with a renewed sense of regret, wishing that there had been any other way to save Alderaan other than agreeing to marry Isolder, my now husband, the Prince of Hapan. There’s nothing wrong with him, exactly, he’s polite and proper and beautiful, of course, with his long blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. He’s kind, and patient with me and never fails to forgive my temper, but somehow that oboe makes it worse, makes me feel like an unruly child instead of his wife, his equal.

He tells me that he’s selected a new pilot for my flagship, that this stranger will be my bodyguard as well due to the ongoing threats in my life and I do my best not to sulk, knowing I’m capable of taking care of myself, but instead nodding and accepting his unassuming kiss on my cheek.

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“I love you,” I murmur softly, getting sleepy, realizing that this is the feeling I wanted all of the times before.

“I love you, Leia,” I say, and I say it again and again until she drifts off to sleep.

Time goes by and I relax a little bit, day by day, until eventually my belly starts to grow, tangible evidence of the little life growing inside me. I wish that Han could feel what I feel, the tiny flutters and the little buzz of energy, but I grin when I realize there’s something I can actually share with him today. “Han! Come here!”

I immediately drop whatever it was I was doing, concerned for both Leia and the baby. When I arrive at our quarters, I’m relieved that she’s not only not in distress, but looks elated.

“Look!” I say, laughing. “I can’t button up my pants anymore!”

She’s so happy that tears spring into my eyes, and I don’t know where from or why. “That’s amazing, Leia.”

I just continue to giggle, launching myself into his arms with complete abandon, for the first time feeling nothing but joy about the baby. Our baby.

“I love you so much,” I say, covering her with kisses. “Both of you.”

“I know,” I murmur, my face tucked into his neck as I hold onto him tightly.

I rub her back in circles, letting a long sigh escape my lips, so relieved that she’s happy after everything.

“I wish you could feel her move,” I tell him, not upset; just wistful, wanting him to get to experience as much as possible. “She gets so excited when you hold me.”

“It’ll happen,” I promise her, kissing her temple. “She’s just gotta get big and strong first.”

“She’s definitely working on the big part,” I laugh, thinking about how there was absolutely no way I was getting my pants buttoned today.

“I can’t wait to meet her,” I say, settling my hand on her belly. “Not too soon, though, little princess.”

“Definitely not too soon,” I say, covering his hand with mine. “God, she’s going crazy.”

I can’t feel anything, not yet, and it breaks my heart a little bit.

I move his hand a little lower to press it against the spot where she’s at, smiling at him. “She’s right there, kicking like crazy.

It takes a moment, but then I feel it – her – and my mouthful drops in amazement.

I grin, feeling so pleased that he can feel her, because without him there would be no ‘her’ in the first place. “She says ‘hi, daddy!’”

“I can’t believe I’m going to be a daddy,” I say, clearing my throat and fighting back tears.

“The best daddy ever,” I reassure him. “And an Uncle Chewie for good measure.”

“You’re too good to me, princess,” I say, kissing her temple.

“This is only happening because of how good you are to me,” I say, resting my forehead against his.

“We’re good to each other,” I say. “And we’ll be the best parents to our baby.”

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