haveyourmoments | (no subject)

(no subject)

Every day I wake up in my palatial bed with a renewed sense of regret, wishing that there had been any other way to save Alderaan other than agreeing to marry Isolder, my now husband, the Prince of Hapan. There’s nothing wrong with him, exactly, he’s polite and proper and beautiful, of course, with his long blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. He’s kind, and patient with me and never fails to forgive my temper, but somehow that oboe makes it worse, makes me feel like an unruly child instead of his wife, his equal.

He tells me that he’s selected a new pilot for my flagship, that this stranger will be my bodyguard as well due to the ongoing threats in my life and I do my best not to sulk, knowing I’m capable of taking care of myself, but instead nodding and accepting his unassuming kiss on my cheek.

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“All you ever do is amaze me,” I tell her. “You are amazing.”

I shake my head, feeling so many conflicting emotions, and I try to push away the negative ones.

“Well, I happen to think you’re amazing.” I say, suddenly wondering if my opinion counts in this.

“Thank you for believing in me,” I tell him, curling into his chest. “I needed to hear that.”

“I promise that I’ll tell you every single day,” I say, holding her close.

Eventually, and very hesitantly, I take his hand and shift it to cover my stomach, thinking that if anyone can protect our baby, it’s him.

“You’re gonna get such a big belly,” I say softly. “I can’t wait.”

“I hope so,” I say, but it’s not filled with quite the sense of dread I’d felt earlier.

“I know so,” I say, suddenly overwhelmed with confidence that everything is going to be okay.

“Yeah?” I say, smiling softly, covering his hand with my own and feeling a certainty and warmth fill my senses. “Are you going to baby-proof the Falcon?”

“Uh… I might need more than nine months to do that,” I say sheepishly, because the Falcon has lots of sharp edges.

I laugh softly, kissing his jawline. “Just make sure the smuggling compartments are secure, there’s gates to block off the rest.”

"Absolutely, I will," I say, leaning into her affection. "Anything for you two."

“Chewie won’t mind?” I ask nervously, not wanting to disrespect the Wookiee when he has more right to the Falcon than I ever will.

"Chewie loves children," I answer, which makes me feel guilty, of course, for what he's left behind.

“He does?” I ask, smiling at the thought of a tiny human baby sitting in his hairy arms. “Actually, I can see that.”

“He’s a big teddy bear,” I say, before adding: “Just don’t tell him I said so.”

“Don’t worry, that’s exactly what he said about you,” I say, giggling as I slip my hand under his shirt to stroke his skin.

“Oh, I’ll bet he did,” I say with a gentle roll of my eyes before leaning into her touch, pressing my forehead against hers. “We’re having a baby; Leia.”

“I can’t believe it,” I murmur, tearing up. Still, that feeling persists, the small glowing warmth that lets me know there is definitely a baby growing inside me.

I hug her as tightly as I dare. “Believe it.”

“I love you,” I murmur softly, getting sleepy, realizing that this is the feeling I wanted all of the times before.

“I love you, Leia,” I say, and I say it again and again until she drifts off to sleep.

Time goes by and I relax a little bit, day by day, until eventually my belly starts to grow, tangible evidence of the little life growing inside me. I wish that Han could feel what I feel, the tiny flutters and the little buzz of energy, but I grin when I realize there’s something I can actually share with him today. “Han! Come here!”

I immediately drop whatever it was I was doing, concerned for both Leia and the baby. When I arrive at our quarters, I’m relieved that she’s not only not in distress, but looks elated.